The Taming of the Muse

Trouble in Texas: Part III

2009-12-27T23:44:52Z

I am greatly relieved to report the following from Sealy, Texas:

1) At no time during the dark of the night, December 24th, was I shot for trespassing by an aggrieved Texan

2) I did not suffer the fate of becoming a holiday chew toy for a foaming-mouthed watch dog, or one of those nearly rabid possums I encountered last trip

3) I was not taken into custody by the Texas Rangers or any other law enforcement entity

4) Operation Swaddle Nearly Naked Baby Jesus accomplished

May we all come to know a deep, abiding peace--
((((*))))
Mary

Trouble in Texas Part II: And Then it Rained for God's Sake

2009-12-24T04:00:50Z

And rained and rained and rained! And you know what that means--

Not only was Baby Jesus nearly naked on his broken sled, locked and in rigor--now he's nearly DROWNING. Because when it rains in Texas, it rains cats, dogs, armadillos and angus! I hurried right over to Super Walmart, which was extremely scary two days shy of Christmas. The friendly Walmart greeter is no longer making eye contact, and seems to have developed an agitated tic of some sort.

Just so you'll know? Even Super Walmart in does not carry infant raincoats. Or any type of dignified rain apparel befitting the Messiah. They did have umbrellas for the 3 ft and under crowd. I had my choice of Spider Man, which was frankly a bit scary, Hello Kitty which was extremely pink, or Dora the Explorer. I settled on option number four, Sponge Bob Square Pants, which seemed like the most absorbent option, him being a sponge and all.

I also tried to turn Baby J on his side, but it put his neck in a very uncompromising position. I decided to leave well enough alone on that score for now. I am happy to report he will stay dry until I can work out a viable solution to the rest of his problems due to not having a manger. Or hay. Or lumbar support.

As I was driving home from Super WM contemplating where I might find some wood to build an ark, I drove by my first inflatable Nativity scene. Really? I had to pull right over, not quite believing it. I was sorely tempted to knock on this family's door to discuss this with them. I don't think my night photo in the rain does this justice, but you should have a look anyway.

What's interesting about this threesome is that St. Joseph appears to have been replaced with Old Testament Goliath. He is ginormous. Mary appears to be a munchkin, only slighty bigger than Baby Jesus. Quite an interesting family constellation. I'll try to take a daytime shot for you, in case you've missed the Blow-up Holy Family this season. If any of you know of anyone that has one of these, do hook me up. My writing muse is dying to talk with them about this choice of creche.

Lastly, here is a gorgeous rendering of Mary holding the Infant Jesus, which Kimberley Little sent me. Thanks, Kimberley! It has such a lovely feel to it. So often we see Mary just looking at the baby, I love that she is holding him. You can imagine her walking the stable floor with him.

And a few more of my favorites--

I am beginning the feel the residual effects of my fudge making tonight, and Hank is yawning and batting his bedroom eyes at me. I am completely mad crazy in love with him. (In addition to having the prettiest brown eyes in Texas, he has four legs--just so you'll know.)

More on Texas Baby J coming!

Unti then, wishing you each a sweet and gentle slumber--
Mary

Trouble in Texas

2009-12-21T02:21:07Z

Dear Friends,

If you've been reading my blog for a while, you might recall that I've been up in arms for some time about the mistreatment of Baby Jesus as he awaits his official arrival in the Christmas creche. I found Baby Jesus behind the TV when I was a young child. Buck arse naked. I was quite shocked that my devoted Catholic mum stuck him back there until it was time for him to be born on Xmas morn. I wrapped him up in a little sock to keep him decent and warm. And shot her horrified looks for the rest of Advent.

Catholics are quite particular about not displaying Baby Jesus in the manger until Xmas morning, so our Baby Jesus is always detachable from his manger. The Protestant Baby Jesus is usually welded/glued/affixed in some way to his. It's like a big wooden backpack. This means Baby J and his attache' get put out in the creche before December 25th. I always thought that made Xmas sort of anti-climactic. As in, Oh, yeah, there's Jesus again. I always loved the sweet, holy suprise of running to the manger in Xmas morning and seeing him there at last. But I'm here to report that I've discovered a situation here in Texas that takes the cake. Just around the corner from where I'm staying is an outdoor Nativity scene belonging to a family that has apparently lost their ever-lovin' minds. Please review the photo below. Warning: It is very distressing.

.

I hardly know where to start!
1. Detachable Baby Jesus is lying on what appears to be a broken sled, which is not an acceptable substitute for a manger. I don't care what religion this family is.

2. Baby Jesus is locked in an permanent abdominal crunch. He needs a pillow under his head, or under his legs. This is just wrong.

3. There isn't even any hay!

4. It is extremely cold in Sealy, Texas and BJ needs to be wrapped. Everyone on the scene has a cloak of some kind. People!

4. Mary desperately needs her eyebrows waxed, but that is for another blog entirely.

This situation must be remedied immediately. I am weighing my options carefully. I'm remembering that I'm in Texas, and I believe you are allowed to shoot trespassers which no impunity. Must proceed with caution.

Stay tuned.
(Hope you are all well!)
Mary

P.S. Pictured at the very top is a Texas Pie Pan Christmas tree. You gotta love the ambitions of Texans. They think BIG. I had Frito Pie today at Church. Nothing raw or nutritious about it. Deadly delicious.

Let There Be Light!

2009-12-13T05:27:16Z

Chanakuh on Union Square
Originally uploaded by Thomas Hawk

"… and May This Festival of Lights bring Blessings
upon you and All Your Loved Ones for Happiness,
for Health, and for Spiritual and Material Wealth,
and May the Lights of Chanukah Usher in the Light of Moshiach
and a Better World for All of Humankind."
--Hanukkah blessing

This is the traditional lighting of the menorah in Union Square in San Francisco-- an annual event that has been going on for over thirty years. My spiritual journey is infinitely richer due to all that I've learned about God from my friends that are Jewish. And not because they are talking a lot about their faith, as Christians can be prone to do ad nauseum (present company included), but because they are busy living and working their beliefs.

When Jill and I had our small wedding celebration last year, at one point we looked around and were struck that the majority of those in attendance were Jews. There were some Christians that stayed away. We have so much to learn from this faith.

The darkness of the whole world cannot swallow the glowing of a candle. ~Robert Altinger

(((*)))
Mary

If at First You Don't Succeed, Sigh, Sigh Again!

2009-12-10T05:27:41Z

i want you to write my story
Originally uploaded by Feffy Fotography

Nothing yet in my life has quite compared to the heartcracking, nervewrecking, nailsplitting challenge of trying to write a children's picture book-- a measly 1000 words at best, and you don't even need to do the art yourself.

In my life, I have weathered and whooped a great many feats-- parochial school when nuns still could rap your body parts, US Army Boot Camp, Military Police School (the co-ed kind with a lot of mean boys), and a Nazarene College where cussing, movies, or dancing were actionable offenses. Try that on for size right out of the Army where cussing and dancing are mainstays. I've run seven marathons and managed to get four books published, despite working full-time at a fairly draining, frenetic job. I've lived out of the closet for about twenty years now, and have managed to remain standing through it all.

Which is all said to just make a point-- I'm a pretty determined, dogged kind of person. Which is why my inability to write and sell a picture book is wedged deep, deep in my craw. (I'm not sure where exactly that is anatomically, but I know I have one and it's giving me grief.)

How can this be so hard? It's not for lack of ideas-- I'm awash in them. I just can't seem to shape those ideas into the right form. I've been putting in my apprenticeship time for years. I sit in the children's section of the library on those hard, weenie seats, and study scores of picture books. I read craft books, articles and attend conferences to learn how to do it. I show up for the work.

This head-banging frustration reminds me of that carnival game where there is a enormous glass case full of toys-- hundreds of them. All you have to do is move the scoopy thing on the crane inside and snag one. What could be more simple than that? Oh, I dunno-- skating on the moon? Even if you can get the crane to hook the toy you want, the darn thing couldn't hang on to anything that weighs more than one sheet of single-ply toilet paper. It is so tantalizing and yet so completely maddening.

I just came across this article from the Upstart Crow Literary Agency, which didn't give me any hope, but it did mollify me slightly. The writer confirmed by worst fears that writing a picture book is Damn Hard Work.

So I sigh, sigh again! I will not be defeated. I get my arse back in the chair. Surely this must be nearly mile twenty-three of my picture book marathon? I must be getting close?

Note to Baby Jesus: All I want for Christmas...

Speaking of Baby J, I'm going to start putting up some of my favorite images. This one below is my December screensaver. Love it huge. If you've got a good picture of him you'd like to share-- send it on over! I'll be working on a great prize for you!

Wishing you luminous, numinous joys this month,
Mary

What Anne Rice and I Have in Common

2009-12-04T07:25:44Z

I spent five hours in the car today with author Anne Rice and discovered that she and I have an awful lot in common. Okay, she wasn't exactly in my car in the flesh, but her spiritual memoir was in the CD player. It felt just like she was riding shotgun. If you aren't familiar with Anne Rice, she is the extremely prolific and successful author of Interview with the Vampire and a host of subsequent books about vampires. A few years ago, she came out of the closet as a former-Catholic-turned-atheist-for-38-years-returning-Catholic. Called Out of Darkness: A Spiritual Confession is the story of her conversion. It is powerful, palpable and rich with acoustic and visual details. I could smell the incense in my hair, and my ears rang with the chants, the Latin, the hymns. My skin felt warmed by the light pouring in from the stained glass churches of her childhood in New Orleans.

Here are some of the things that we have in common:
1) Both prayed in childhood for the stigmata-- the wounds of the crucified Christ. (Yet another prayer I'm grateful was not answered!)
2) Both of us thought becoming a nun sounded like a very good idea
3) Both of us thought our way right out of the Church for decades
4) Both of us felt stalked by God in the subsequent years
5) Both of us have returned to the Catholic Church to our great surprise
6) Both of us are crazy mad out of our minds for the Baby Jesus

I pretty much need to carry an Industrial-Sized box of Kleenex with me for the duration of Advent through Epiphany. The site of Baby Jesus in a creche or on a greeting card, or holy card, or in a store display, unhinges me. Hearing the song Away in a Manger, whether in church sung by a beautiful choir, or by Alvin and the Chipmunks while I am pumping gas, takes me to the edge of something indescribable. Can't even really articulate it. I'm extremely fond and devoted of both God the Father and God the Son-- but God the Baby-- well, I'd take a bullet and a beating for the infant any day of the week. The Baby Jesus opened a portal to my most innermost parts back when I was a child and I found him naked behind the television waiting for Xmas Eve to be put in his crib. That portal has never closed.

And it occurred to me today to take my own advice that I gave out yesterday to about ninety 5th-graders during a school visit, the Washington Cougars-- "Write what you're obsessed about."

Think I'll do just that.

Welcome to Advent, friends--
Mary

Entering into Thanksgiving Week

2009-11-23T05:57:20Z

Chapel of Thanksgiving / Explored
Originally uploaded by Flyingwoolybugger

Here is yet another reason to love Texas-- the Chapel of Thanksgiving in Dallas! Must visit sometime. I'm still deeply crushed on spirals. Can't get enough of them.

Welcome to Thanksgiving week, everyone! Having only one to give thanks is woefully inadequate. So I'm starting now, and plan to keep at it all week! Hope you'll jump on with me.

I'm going to start with All the Prayers I'm Hugely Grateful That God Pretty Much Ignored (in somewhat chronological order):

1) That my little brother never turned into a puppy who would love and mind only me
2) That all my freckles did not disappear overnight
3) That it would turn out that Doris Day was, in fact, my real mother
4) That something really bloody and tragic would happen to me, I would have a great attitude about it all before I died, and then be canonized as a childhood saint
5) That I did not get a job on Mod Squad, and marry Michael Cole while I was still in junior high
6) That the head cheerleader at my high school didn't become a leper and infect the whole squad
7). That I never gave birth to twelve children, because I don't really think they are cheaper by the dozen
8) That God never "straightened me out" -- a fervent prayer of mine from 1974-1976, and back with a vengeance in the early 80's.
9) That I did NOT get accepted into Oral Roberts University and become a World Action Singer
10) That my first completed novel entitled Willa's Wild, Wild, Wild, Wild, Wild World did not get published (the saints be praised-- it was god-awful!)
11) That my partner has not become more like me
12) That Anne Lamott hasn't yet called me to have lunch with her because, seriously, when would I have the time? (Anne, if you're reading this, I'll work you in.)

Those are just the bullets I dodged...the list of visitations by Grace in my life nearly blows me away. I'd like to get God a little something for Thanksgiving to let Her know how much I appreciate all that She (or Shim, whatever) has done for me. As you can imagine, picking out a gift for God is not easy... way worse than shopping for Oprah or Warren Bufftet.

I was listening to someone talking about forgiveness recently and they made the point that forgiveness is for-giving. I'm thinking I could let someone off the hook which might make a festive gift. Naturally, I like to think I am grudge-free and living in the groovy-love zone, but that is pretty much a crock. Truth be told, I have a small handful of people that are the regular beneficiaries of my silent but deadly stink-eye. Really.Completely.Ticked.At.Them. So not proud of this.

But, man, forgiveness is hard. It's as maddening as applying contact paper. You pick out just the right design. You prep the surface. You measure. You measure again. You get it all lined up just right. Then you start peeling the back off, and it becomes one giant fuster-cluck. It goes on crooked, or you can never ever get that one crease out. By the time it's over, you wished you'd never started. You've got your head deep in a cupboard and sweat running down your legs. I always want it to stick first time around and it never seems to. Or, you get it on just right, but then a week later, the edges start curling up! Forgiveness has curling-up edges. I hate that a lot.

Why can't forgiveness be more like taking out the trash? You bag it up and take it to the bin. Over and done with. It doesn't come back and pound on your door.

I'm not entirely sure I ::get:: forgiveness, but one thing I'm very sure about. When you don't get an critical soul lesson, God is very generous in letting you take the course over and over and over till you get it right. I'm stuck in do-over curriculum mode. Wish me luck, will you?

In the meantime, let me know what you're feeling thankful for, will you? Or, if you can think of anything else I can get God?

Peace to you and all those you love-- and even those you're ticked at.
Mary

"I do not think of all the misery, but of the glory that remains. Go outside into the fields, nature and the sun, go out and seek happiness in yourself and in God. Think of the beauty that again and again discharges itself within and without you and be happy." --Anne Frank

I've Got a Date with a Librarian (And a Caption Contest)!

2009-11-20T06:35:55Z

It's true! I have a date with a Librarian this weekend-- squillions of them, in fact. I'm very excited. I will be attending the 2009 Annual California School Library Association Author Illustrator Brunch this Sunday, November 22nd in Ontario, California. I will be in driving down with two of my writing peeps Robin LaFevers and Valerie Hobbs, and the three of us will be happily reunited with our writing group bud, Lee Wardlaw who is away in graduate school this year. Keynote presenter for the luncheon is our own local Mr. Funny, and creator of the Chet Gecko series, Bruce Hale.

We will be brunching, and raising cane as only a convention center full of in introverts can (Writers + Librarians-- uh, yeah, ya think?). Add Ontario, CA to the equation and hold on to your hats, people! :-) I must say that these libarians are some serious party dogs! In addition to having a conference website, they have a Facebook Page, a Twitter account, a Flickr account, a Wiki, and god knows what other secret electronic tools they have employed that us non--Dewey folk aren't privy too. I did note that the conference brochure refers to a Follies events one event. That's all I'm saying-- total party DOGS!

After the brunch and festivities, we will be be signing books for the attendees, and then heading back to SB. With possibly a quick stop at the Most. Incredible. Independent. Bookstore. Ever-- Vromans Bookstore, which if I were a book, that would be my second choice of where I would want to live. My first choice? No brainer-- a public library!

Before I wrap this up for the night, I do have some rather alarming news to pass on. Are any of you aware that next week is Thanksgiving?? As in, already? How could this possibly be? Has it been bumped up, because it was just September like fifteen minutes ago. The only possible thing that will cheer me up from this news is having a contest. As in right now.

CONTEST: Here's the deal. If you can correctly read the caption under the photo of the librarians, post it in a comment. You could win! If you happen to be forty plus, and can't read the comment, but really want a chance at this, I am accepting alternative captions. Especially the kind that would make me laugh, and help me get past this Looming Thanksgiving Crisis. Best of luck to you!

Prize? Oh, right-- How about M.E. Kerr's YA novel entitled If I Love You, Am I Trapped Forever? (Outstanding Children's Book, New York Times) I just might throw in a giant box of DOTS because I love them a lot. I find them extremely festive, and I sincerely admire that in a candy.

Run Turkeys Run!

Mary

Author Fashion

2009-11-17T04:41:24Z

My special thesis-writing outfit
Originally uploaded by maximolly

A new writing project has seized me! I am officially the new character's channel (a euphemism for a word that rhymes with hitch). I am hugely excited and grateful to my writing muse, Wanda who has brought this story to me. I am a bit less grateful for her insistence that she dress me for these extended sessions. With each new novel comes the beginning of a number of extremely strange outfits specific to the work in progress, and generally a mash-up of pajamas, street clothes, and often a piece of warm weather gear. And, as many earplugs as one can manage to fit in the ear orafice.

One small tragedy in this midst of all this is that my mandatory writing hand lotion -- Origins Ginger Rush Extremely Hydrating Body Cream-- has bit the dust. Nordstrom's Origins has recently tanked. Desperately seeking a replacement. Please send suggestions my way.

Writers are a lot like crows-- okay, fine, maybe just me. Bbut when we're out in the world we are constantly being drawn to bright, shiny things that we want to snatch and carry back to our nest. Faces, names, objects, sounds, smells, oddities, gestures, words, expressions, eccentricities, connections-- we are hunters and collectors of it all. Which is why writers can't waste time! We are always working. Even when it looks like we are just trolling on Facebook. Which is where I found this completely incredible short piece on young savant with with an extraordinary gift . Love this much. There is something in here that will be mined, just not sure yet what it is. Take a look. Beautiful Minds: Stephen Wiltshire.

I'm traveling quite a bit this week, but, I've just been to the Public Library which is the most extraordinary place ever. They've kindly set me up with hours and hours of books on CD for all my journeys. For FREE. I think that there is a very good chance that when we die, and leave our bodies in search of Heaven, we will discover that Heaven was the Library-- it was there all along.

Do remember to visit and support yours, will you?

Pax,
Mary

"Every production of an artist should be the expression if an adventure of his soul."
--W. Somerset Maugham

Remembering Some Veterans Wear Skirts, and Some Wear Rainbows

2009-11-11T22:08:45Z

President Obama hugs Tammy Duckworth, female Iraq War vet and director of the Illinois Department of Veterans Affairs, after a Veterans Day ceremony in Chicago. Duckworth lost both legs when the Black Hawk helicopter she was co-piloting was shot down in Iraq in 2004.

Thanking and remembering ALL who have served this Veteran's Day 2009.

"We few, we happy few, we band of brothers. For he today that sheds his blood with me shall be my brother..."
William Shakespeare
(And sister.)

One Hundred Twenty and Counting-- But I've Miles to Go!

2009-11-08T04:05:07Z

I'm free to dance again
Originally uploaded by .fefisnandinha

I celebrated a milestone this morning at my favorite Lazy Girl Volunteer Job, where I get to lie around and save lives while the rest of you are-- I dunno, doing chores or exercising.

I made my 120th platelet donation today at the local Blood Bank! I am extremely thrilled about this. None of this is to my credit-- all I do is drive down there and the nurses do all the work. I'm fortunate to have a strong platelet count-- which is also not to my credit. I came that way. I simply show up, lie back and they suck those puppies right out of me (not a medically accurate description for the record).

I get to pick a movie, have snacks, and get swaddled in hot water bottles. Seriously? This is the best-ever-gig. More of you should do it, which is why I'm posting about this again. Platelets have a very short shelf life-- five measly days-- and it takes between 5-10 donations to make up one usable unit for someone. Platelets are needed for people that are undergoing chemotherapy, or are having problems clotting for other reasons (AIDS, trauma, etc.) Even thoughI'm a massive introvert, and like to do most things on my own, here is one place that I can't do it all by myself. I need a bunch of other people to pitch in so we can make one full unit for someone.

Over the years that I have been doing this, I've inducted three others, who are now regular donors. My goal is to bring six more people into the fold. Think about it, will you? You can read more about the process by clicking on this link or reading this earlier post that I did a couple of years ago... hold on... trying to find that.

Here is a seriously awesome photo of some red blood cells and some platelets. The platelets are the pinkish ones with the little arms (okay, connectors) on them that are reaching out to the others. See what I mean? This is such a team sport! According to my exhaustive research (<30 minutes on Google), turns out that platelets are not actual cells, but bone marrow cell fragments that shed into the circulatory system. They help plug defects in the walls of damaged blood vessels--sort of like circulatory spackle. They also release some serotonin granulars which constrict the blood vessels, reducing blood loss. They are extremely handy little buggers. But most of us have plenty to share, and once we give some away, we get more. Promise.

So, I'm looking for some riders in my Platelet Posse-- hope you'll take some time to learn more about it and consider it! Truly, this is such an easy way to make a enormous difference in the world.

To speak gratitude is courteous and pleasant, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, but to live gratitude is to to touch Heaven.
-- Johannes a. Gaertner
Pax,
Mary

Finding God in an Elevator

2009-11-02T04:32:39Z

Elevator Love Letter
Originally uploaded by Atomic Citrocity

I have this growing realization (albeit remedial) that we don't have to wait for heaven or any other celestial plane to meet God. And I think that those that are waiting for a postmortem rendevouz may be missing out on the real goods available here and now. I believe we are literally tripping over God everywhere. In fact, I think you have to close your eyes really tight NOT to see God.

We are walking right smack on top of God
We are drawing God in with every breath
We are eating God, drinking God--
Where isn't God?
Pretty much God has us surrounded
Deal with it

Here is a recent sighting that I had. God in the elevator on Grey's Anatomy, Season Six premiere. Did you miss it? If you're not a Grey's affecianado, no matter. As a quick set-up, Dr. Miranda Bailey is a strong, sewn-up-tight kind of woman. Everyone depends on her. She is the salt, pepper and cumin of the world. She gets on the elevator with Dr. Shepherd, staff neurosurgeon, after a series of emotionally pulverizing events.

Watch this-- what he does, what she does, then come on back. (I couldn't find a version of this clip without subtitles. Just ignore them.)

This is the God who I want to follow. The one who allows me to be that hard-headed. The one who respects the gift of free will I was given, who doesn't shake me by the lapels and yell SNAP OUT OF IT (though She may be itching to).

He pulled the emergency stop on the elevator, gave her his full attention. He didn't judge, criticize, advise. He didn't tell her to get therapy, or read The Secret. He simply listened, and felt her pain with her. And when she had her say, without a word, he put the elevator back in the game.

So simple. So powerful. God in the elevator. Keep an eye peeled.

Pax,

Mary

P.S. On the topic of divine comforts, have you met Trader Joe's Decaffeinated Candy Cane Green Tea? I like each of those things hugely much-- Trader Joes, Decaf, Candy Canes and Green Tea. If only they could throw in some dark cacoa, I would be set for life. I would drink no other beverage. Seriously, this is one fine cup of tea. If you live somewhere without a TJ, let me know. I may just have to send you some.

The Imperfect Adventure that is Life

2009-10-28T05:45:47Z

dance with the monks
Originally uploaded by >> Anne... en pointillés

"There's a common misunderstanding among all the human beings who have ever been born on the earth that the best way to live is to try to avoid pain and just try to get comfortable. You can see this even in insects and animals and birds. All of us are the same.

A much more interesting, kind, adventurous, and joyful approach to life is to begin to develop our curiosity, not caring whether the object of our inquisitiveness is bitter or sweet. To lead a life that goes beyond pettiness and prejudice and always wanting to make sure that everything turns out on our own terms, to lead a more passionate, full, and delightful life than that, we must realize that we can endure a lot of pain and pleasure for the sake of finding out who we are and what this world is, how we tick and how our world ticks, how the whole thing just is."
--- Pema Chodron

Yeah... what she said... so completely beautifully. Wouldn't touch it.

Breathing it in,
Mary

One Year Ago Today

2009-10-25T22:50:12Z

Jill and I are feeling tremendously fortunate today as we celebrate our first wedding anniversary. Though we have been together over 20 years, it wasn't until May 2008 that the State of California opened the door for us to legally wed. Tragically, that door slammed shut when Prop 8 blew through on a cold wind. Now Jill and I are part of the group of 18,000 gay/lesbian couples in California that managed to exchange vows before the dream-come-true was snatched away. We won't be able to fully celebrate until the right is returned to our state, so that all couples can be married.

We want to thank all of our non-GLBTQ friends who touched us so deeply last year with their extraordinarily generous, loving, celebratory support of our marriage. It will always be a treasured, unspeakably joyous memory for us. And to the rest of you, our "family", it meant everything to have you with us, surrounding us, serving as witness to our vows.

To those waiting for the right to marry, we hold you in our thoughts and hearts, and cannot wait to celebrate with you in the future. Keep the faith!

I'll leave you with the only song we sang (and very badly) at our wedding. For the forty plus gang that remember the show ShinDig, here is Jackie DeShannon's original version. Man, you just don't see choreography like this anymore! And for a more contemporary spin, Coldplay does it right nicely as well!

What the world need now is love, sweet love-- no not just for some, but for everyone!
(lyrics Burt Bacharach)

With hope-- yet another commodity we could with much, much more!

Mary Hershey
(Our noble ring bearer pictured below-- the amazing Lucky Boy!)

Fun Theory

2009-10-24T17:36:15Z

Girls just wanna have fun :-p
Originally uploaded by Gert van Duinen

Happy Weekend!

This is a quick pop-in before I head out to yoga class so I can actually move these old bones toward some fun. Woke up feeling like some evil nightime fairy had poured fast-drying cement into my joints. Yoga will fix that! Coffee cup number 2.5 is helping too.

The riotously fun and funny Jennifer J. Stewart sent me the video link below, which I love a lot. It came at the most perfect time-- as most things do! I'm collaborating with one of our physicians at work on a quality improvement project to try to change a particular provider behavior. Fun theory has some real potential. Can't wait to get my teeth into this.

Hope you enjoy the video! Click here for some field research that will make you smile!

Pax,

Mary

Match the Author Photo to the Book Contest!

2009-10-15T04:00:14Z

Rainbow Books
Originally uploaded by bluemarla

At last! I have found someone else who apparently thought it would be extremely cool to alphabetize their books by color. This has been on my Rainy Day To Do list for some time. It looks awesome, don't you think? Bear in mind, this is a fun idea for home, but a very bad idea for librarians. Please don't even consider it-- I've just now got my bearings in the Temple of Books. Do not mess with Dewey. Love her much.

One of the highlights of my week is the chance to do an author presentation at Santa Barbara Montessori this Friday with the 4th to 6th graders. It is a fabulous school-- this is my third visit and I always have such a fantastic time with the kids. During my very first visit there, I was blown away when one of the students brought me hot tea, another lit a scented candle, and they had a school dog that was snoozing on the rug in front of me. So completely civilized.

Fellow authoristas Thalia Chaltas and Ellen Kelley will also be making school visits on Friday at SBMS. Sunday, October 18th, the three of us will be signing our latest books at our local indie bookstore, Chaucer's from 4:00 p.m. to 6:00 p.m. Chaucer's is very generously donating 25% of EVERYTHING sold in the store during those two hours to Montessori school. Behemoth thanks to Lee Wardlaw Jaffurs for organizing all this each year!

If you are in the area, please drop on by! Buy books, greeting cards, maps, magazines, or gift cards-- stock up for the Fa-la-lalidays! You'll be supporting a local bookstore-- one of the best-- and a local school. Can't beat that!

To win your very own autographed copy Ellen or Thalia's book, match the correct author photo to the correct book cover. Correctly name all five authors and win both Ellen and Thalia's books. Leave a comment with your guess! Good luck--

In other news, I've justt received my latest copy of REAL SIMPLE magazine which I rely on to keep me sane. Here is the best tip ever! I'm going to share it here because I can't bear the thought of anyone having to endure the torture anymore. You know those stiff, sadistic plastic packages they put on nearly everything now that you can't even CUT or saw off? There is a actual name for them-- DID NOT KNOW THIS-- clamshell packages. And here is a trick for getting them off without losing a finger, or resorting to a crazed, hacking motion fueled by a round of unlady-like expletives.

1. Turn the little sucker on its back
2. Get your standard hand-operated can opener.
3. Clamp the can opener on the top right edge of the package.
4. Then cut all the way around the package.
5. Set your merchandise free!

I had the great pleasure of interviewing author Laurie Helgoe this week over at Shrinking Violet Promotions. Laurie is the author of Introvert Power, a real earthquake of a book. It is a must read for every one that is a member of the human race. If you're not an introvert, there is much to learn about those that are. If you are an introvert, there is such relief in her words. I can't tell you how many years I just assumed I was nuts, overly sensitive, socially stunted. Kept waiting to grow out of it. Lord.

Off to watch GLEE! Hurrah! Hear it's a good one.

In peace,
Mary

P.S. Short of putting it in a vase, 'cos it's kinda pretty, does anyone have any good recipes for chard? I tried to eat it raw, but there was a lot of gnashing and not much else happening. Maybe I can use the leaves for placemats as they are kind of enormous.
Hmmm.

Big Moments

2009-10-11T05:29:35Z

This inspired vertical jump is courtesy of the Sealy, Texas 7th Grade Volley Ball A Team following their recent 2nd place ::win:: in the Brazos tournament. Congratulations, girls! (Thank you, Jennifer Spradling Sullivan, for letting me post this phenomenal photo!) One of these amazing airborne players has become a fave friend of mine when I make my sojourns to Texas. She is keeping me abreast of the haps in JH. She is smart, bright, funny and an great sister to her two younger siblings. CB, I am looking forward to seeing you when I return to Texas in December! And, her mom is wickedly cool as well. :-)

I'm crazy about this photo for a number of reasons, but the one that most ties into this post, is that each of us absolutely needs to to find the thing that we want SO bad-- that when we get it, we will jump for joy like the Sealy team. I felt like that the day I got my first book contract. It literally knocked the wind out of me. I had to sit down next to the phone. On the floor. I've had so many great moments in my life-- but this was THE BIG KAHUNA. Getting published was what I wanted deep in my core. To have such a primal longing fulfilled is indescribable. Each of you deserve that. Each of you is here on this earth for that. You don't want to miss this kind of ecstasy.

"Desire" has been on my radar so much of late, popping up in a number of places. Whenever GU (God University) is trying to teach me something, I'm given the Sesame Street version, which involves a lot of repetition, rhyming, and giant flashing letters. D-E-S-I-R-E. It wants me to pay attention-- calls me to lean into the thing that is whispering to me. I've done a number of vision boards which are unfailingly catalytic. Whenever I feel locked in Park, I pull out a piece of double-fold newspaper, a stack of magazines, some scissors, and a glue stick. I give myself thirty minutes to tear/cut out pictures out pictures that draw me in-- colors, text, shapes, elements, faces. Then the real fun begins-- arranging and gluing. The pictures seem to move of their own accord. I'm always amazed by the end product. I'll put the collage up over my desk for at least a month to let it teach me. It never fails.

So I've learned quite a bit this year about the secret yearnings I have-- the things I might normally suppress because they're not practical, feasible, and I can't imagine how they might enter my life. A couple of weeks ago, I interviewed psychologist Laurie Helgoe author of the enormously popular book Introvert Power. Her website is called Waking Desire, and I asked about her choosing that name. She said that desire is a big theme in her life, and a "trustworthy guide." Trustworthy guide... really? That has stuck in my craw and I keep thinking about it. Because some of my desires make no sense in the context of my life!

Two days ago, I was driving to the Sepulveda VA to work for the day and listened to Thomas Moore's book entitled Thomas Moore on Meaningful Work. One of the first things he said was that we need to pay close attention to desire, as it is a strong signal pointing us in the direction of our meaningful work.

All that is missing at this point is Bert and Ernie jumping around banging trash can lids and doing a rap song about DESIRE. Okay, I'm sort of getting it. Are you? This past week I sent out a proposal-- it's pretty far-fetched-- something I'd like to do if I was willing to make some significant shifts. It's a very vulnerable position to be in. But, it speaks to my desire. I'm just going with it. I'll keep you posted.

Love to hear what desires are tugging at you, if you feel like sharing here or you can email me offline by clicking here.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
I enjoyed a fun morning at the 57th Annual Breakfast with the Authors in Santa Barbara today (Something that is actually older than me!) There were sixteen authors present and we each spoke briefly on the future of reading and books. Newly published author/illustrator Dan Hanna had us all nearly losing our quiche. The man is gut-twisting funny. As is the creator of the superhero series, Melvin Beederman, Greg Trine who read from his upcoming new YA book called "His Boy Elroy". ( Note to self: remember to get a copy for my leaping friend above.) My irreplaceable Shrinking Violet Promotions sidekick R.L. LaFevers was also in attendance, as were Society of Children's Book Authors & Ilustrators friends, Mark London Williams, Joan Bransfield Graham, and Caroline Hatton. And I enjoyed meeting some new authors! It was a great event and I appreciated having the chance to talk to a number local teachers, librarians, and educators. My heroes! Big big thanks to the Santa Barbara County Office of Education for hosting this event for the 57th time-- with special kudos to staff Fred Borchers, Rose Koller, and Director Steve Keithley. Hope to see you all next year!

Pax,
Mary

P.S. Someone recently asked me what "pax" means and I forgot to respond. Sorry. It's "kiss of peace."

P.S.S. I'm following God Unplugged on Twitter. Her latest-- "I'm taking the day off tomorrow-- want to take it with me? We could talk. Love, God"

Thoughts on a Friday Night

2009-10-03T03:08:56Z

Canterbury Cathedral Cloister
Originally uploaded by 5ERG10

There is a contemplative
in all of us,
almost strangled
but still alive,
who craves quiet
enjoyment of the Now,
and longs to touch
the seamless
garment of silence
which
makes whole.

---Alan P. Tory

In the Pink: Lost in the Throes of Thankfulness

2009-09-28T05:47:22Z

Dance me to the end of love
Originally uploaded by Miro42

I've recently returned to an old practice of making a list of all the things I'm thankful for at the end of the day. It is a powerful discipline that can usually lift me out of any sized funk that may come my way. I just got cocky and didn't think I needed to do that anymore.

I was recently feeling terribly GREEN... which is like feeling blue except for being 10 times worse. You're not just down in the dumps-- you're in the dumps and you're super ticked about it. You don't think you should be there. You should be somewhere way nicer. I was coveting pretty much everything and everyone around me. It turned into a Woodstock-sized ME festival. Yick.

When things get that off kilter, time to get back to basics. Get out the pencil and paper. By the third day, I couldn't imagine living anyone's life but my own. It absolutely couldn't be any richer.

My Current Top Eleven List of Things I'm Mighty Grateful For in Absolute Random Order:

1. This video from the new Fox television show GLEE. I want it played at my Memorial Service when I die. Love it much. I'm working on some of these moves and I can tell you, in isn't pretty. But way fun. Uh-uh-Ohhhhh!

2. My partner for for being as constant, generous, and lovely as the rising sun.

3. My amazing health-- nothing hurts, everything works, and I've still got all my teeth.

4. For being born an introvert, and the way that has challenged me, and sometimes those around me.

5. For all those that have stepped on my heart or will in the future. You are my most valuable teachers.

6. For the absolute joy of having my own room, my own desk, my own space to breathe and create.

7. For office supplies. I love you dearly and lustily.

8. For the unfulfilled dreams of my ancestors that (mostly) gently prod me ahead in life.

9. For my job. Enormously grateful. Please ignore all complaints.

10. For the free and easy access that I have to good foods, clean water, shelter, and healthcare. I abound in wealth. Quite unbelievable that I can ever forget that.

11. The amazing, soulful army of girlfriends that surround me. Simply, wow.

Gratitude, thanks, and appreciation are all perfectly fine words, but they don't come close to describing what I feel. There isn't a word deep or wide enough. I think it requires an interpretive dance! Count your blessings that I don't have a video cam on my computer.

I would consider it a privilege to hear what you're feeling grateful and giddy about.

Namaste,

Mary

Transitions (And How I Deeply Suck at Them Right Now)

2009-09-23T06:02:35Z

autumn aran sock #1
Originally uploaded by flint knits

The Summer to Fall thing is always a wicked tough shift for me, even though I live in California. I know the change isn't as dramatic here as it is in other places. Still, I'm never ready for the days to get shorter and darker. Never ever happy when they turn the heat off in the pool where I live. I believe I whined, I mean blogged, about this last year. Least I'm a consistent wanker!

In keeping with the new season, I returned home from Texas to find a gargantuan butternut squash in our kitchen, courtesy of the Plow to Porch service we use. As I've been on this (mostly) raw food adventure for the past sixteen months, I've developed very tender feelings toward the stuff from the soil. Odd, but true. So there was this squash sitting in a bowl all by itself, having witnessed all of its comrades get eaten. One is the loneliest number (Three Dog Night, circa 1970). I felt badly for it and decided the honorable thing to do would be to eat it so that its life would not have been in vain. It was a bit like sawing into a basketball, but I did finally get it cut in half. This would usually end up being a spurting blood bath, but not a single drop was shed this culinary round. (Kitchen Tip: The sharper your knives, the less likely you'll cut yourself.)

Historically, I've not been a big fan of squash of any kind. I think I probably got too much of the Gerber variety as an infant, and not enough of the lemon custard that I'm sure I loved best. Secondly, the name is a turn-off for me. I must have a word with the F & V Marketing Department. Really? Squash? That's the best you got? I think squashala sounds nicer, or even squasharita. A little sex appeal wouldn't hurt sales.

I wasn't quite prepared to eat the little sucker raw so I decided to make Curry Squashala Soup. (Plow to Porch includes recipes in their service-- how excellent is that!) It turned out enormously delicious. I ate it three times and was sad when it was gone. Tonight's Plow to Porch delivery included a dozen Anaheim chiles. I'm thinking about stuffing them with Scharffenberger dark chocolate and broiling them. What do you think? Too messy? Maybe a raw version with chocolate and bananas?

But back to transitions--and see how clunky this one was? My point exactly! I find myself in such a Freaky Friday place right now. I'm camped out in the midst of warring desires and ambitions. One sock on-- one sock off. Moving forward, moving backward and some days mostly sideways. I want things that don't go together and match.

I have this indelible memory of dressing myself one day as a child, and thinking I looked pretty dang fine. All ready for a big afternoon in baton class. Not only was I dressed, I was fully accessorized with headband, barrettes, and bracelets. My mother came into the bedroom, took a look at me, and announced that red and pink did not match. I couldn't believe it!! It was the worst news ever. I made her tell me all the other colors that didn't match right away. My whole world went Tilt that day.

So here's the deal--I'm going to put on red AND pink and just go with it a while. See how it works out. I'll keep you posted.

Pax,
Mary

It is good to have an end to journey towards; but it is the journey that matters in the end.
-- Ursula K. LeGuin

Texas on a Plate

2009-09-17T02:29:05Z

Photo credit sobodda

I'm a third generation California native from a long line of Irish folk-- pretty sure I even bleed green. But there is something about the Lone Star state that draws me in each and every time I come. I most often don't want to leave-- this trip being no exception! I keep trying to decide what it is that makes me want to unpack my bags for good. Clearly, Miss Dottie is a enormous draw for me, and her marvelous dogs, Hank and Lucy. I've got plenty of elbow room here, and it's still enough that I can listen to the birds and the wind, and even the whirring of the fans. The morning light makes me smile and the little critter that scratches around my window at night feels like an old friend. I feel settled in. Awake. Not rushed. LIke I'm moving forward at just the right speed.

I want to swallow Texas whole and bring it back to Santa Barbara. I want to move with this seasonal clock, the cadence and the rythmn of life here. I want to spend the rest of my life hearing children call me ma'am, in the way that they do here-- which is worlds different than the way the bagger at Trader Joe's says it. I love that you can hear the announcer at the high school football game on Friday from pretty much anywhere in town, and if you didn't get to the game and slept through the final score, you can check the flag in front of the stadium on Saturday. If it's up, they've won. Go, Tigers!

Only slightly jarring in my otherwise idyllic life here was a backyard brawl that I was forced to break up last night between aforementioned sweet dogs now completely Kujo over a good-sized possum that had a mouth like an alligator. Truly.Seriously.Looked.Like.This. Now, I'm a gal that can get cowed over a few silverfish
in the baking dish cupboard. I'm not proud of it, but it's true. Fortunately, I had the good sense to grab an approrpriate mediation tool as I dashed out of the house.

Yeah, that's it. My trusty 45 caliber lambswool duster. Have no idea what I was thinking. It looked a lot more menacing before I got it outside. Rest assured that all three parties survived none worse for the wear. Super Duper Duster Woman, however, nearly had a stroke. Lord.

Miss Dottie and a few of us went and saw the film Julie & Julia today-- we had the theater pretty much to ourselves. I broke my 15-month popcorn fast, which made it all the more festive. I loved the dual stories of Julie and Julia, particularly their quests to find something that they could each lose themselves in. It was right in front of both of them, but they couldn't see it! That is so often true for many of us. It wasn't until I was forty that I got very clear that the only thing I wanted more than anything in life was to be an author. I could have told you that at age eight-- I just forgot for a very long time. Great movie-- hope you'll see it if you haven't already. I felt sure when we got back from the movies that we'd want to cook something fabulous. Instead, we let Hinze's BBQ do the cooking for us. Complete and utter yum-o-rama.

In the same vein, I've been thinking a lot recently about personal power. I heard someone say recently that the thing that we try to hide about ourselves, the thing that brings us shame and embarrassment is the soure of our truest power. We weaken ourselves when we try to abandon that in favor of something we think is more acceptable. I have found that to be true over and over in my writing. It's the dark shadows lurking in our gut, and the deepest fissures that can bring us to our best work. It's powerfully electric, combustible mojo. How will you use yours? What might turn it into some rocket fuel for you? Think on that, will you?

As a quick reminder, I will be on an author panel at the Greater Los Angeles Writing Society this Saturday, September 19th with Lee Wardlaw, R.L. LaFevers, Val Hobbs, and Kaleb Nation. The event takes place at 3pm at the Palms-Rancho Park Branch Library in LA. Come by and see us!

Pax,
Mary

Spiritual Puberty

2009-09-05T19:07:53Z

Photo by shivanayak

Both my blog and my life are going through spiritual puberty. My voice is shifting up and down the scale, I am riddled with soul acne. In addition to this ongoing conversation about the writer's life, I'm experiencing a irresistable press to speak about God. Which is almost as laughable as trying to tame the muse. Fortunately, God has a fabulous sense of humor-- of that, by the way of, I have no doubts. But very little else. Except that God is present and SHe is as incapable of withholding love as I am incapable of withholding breath. (I'm going with SHe just because it's an inclusive word--both pronouns all in one place.)

I will still talk about writing, but you're going to hear more about God, with no apologies. Okay, maybe just one eensy one. This is puberty after all and my emotions are all over the map. :-)

I may at some point decide that the conversation becomes so personal that I might want to move this from "public" view, and limit access to those of you that would like to be a part of this. But for now, I'm just going to keep this open. We'll see what evolves.

I'll leave you with this gorgeous prayer from St. Irenaeus. I love the image of moist clay. It's been a plea of mine for some time that I keep myself soft and malleable-- ready and open for whatever call comes my way.

Grace and peace,
Mary
..................................................

It is not you that shapes God
it is God that shapes you.
If you are the work of God
await the hand of the artist
who does all things in due season.
Offer Him your heart,
soft and tractable,
and keep the form
in which the artist has fashioned you.
Let your clay be moist,
lest you grow hard
and lose the imprint of his fingers.

- St. Irenaeus

......................................................................

Nearly Everything You Need to Know About September!

2009-09-04T05:32:14Z

1. It is eXtReMeLy hot in Santa Barbara and none of us have that live here have air conditioning. Except maybe Oprah. And if she does, she really needs to invite my two cats over for an extended play date with her puppies. Our little critters are smoking. I am wetting them down and giving them extra cookies. Feeding the fever and all that, you know.

2. I am going to be a panelist on September 19th at the Palms-Rancho Park Library at an event presented by the Greater Los Angeles Writers Society with some extremely cool people that make up nearly my entire Writer's Group. One of them in the photo is not in my group, but he looks awfully nice anyway. It is a free event! If you're in the neighborhood that day, come see us. We will be signing and selling books afterwards. If you would like a free book from me, simply bring Anne Lamott with you. Okay, fine, tell her she can have a free book, too!

3. I'm getting ready to head off to Texas next week for a spell, and am very excited. I haven't been since last January, and I'm most anxious to see everyone there. Yee-haw!

4. If you enjoy a fresh view and voice and are doing the Twitter thang, check out God Unplugged and God Wears Lipstik.

5. My Fairy Godmother, the extraordinary Lee Wardlaw Jaffurs left today for grad school. She and I are nearly exactly the same age-- she's is a mere ten days older than me. Can I tell you how much I love it that she is giving up her home and family life for an entire year to do this? Such courage and passion! We're all going to miss her SO much, and are pretty dang happy that we get to have her on Sept 19th at the LA Panel with us! Lee was my first children's writing teacher, and I am so grateful to her for all she taught me, and for all the encouragement to keep at it. Lee is one of the most generous writers around.

This is us this morning at our Last Breakfast. I have absolutely no explanation for the Cat Woman glasses. And I brought them! Just seemed fitting. Lee is extremely fancy and glamorous. (First blonde on the right).

5. Did I mention it is extremely hot here? I'm finding dark chocolate helps-- and the darker the better!

Hope you all are keeping your cool--
Mary

Getting Ready to Meet My Hero

2009-08-24T04:29:55Z

Photo by dooda

This is a very banner week for me. This coming Friday, I get to meet Hall of Fame swimmer Lynne Cox, one of my all time top heroes. I'm nearly jumping out of my skin with excitement! I've been swimming a lot the last two weeks to get ready. I want the smell of chlorine to be steeped under my skin when we meet. I'm going to ask her to sign my cap. And maybe my goggles!

It all started because her book Swimming to Antarctica is one of my all time favorites, and I mentioned that on Facebook. Someone forwarded that to Lynne, and she emailed me thanking me for my endorsement. We chatted back and forth a few times, and she was kind enough to let me interview her on my Shrinking Violet blog. Now she's coming to Santa Barbara, and a friend arranged a small get-together for us. I can't wait! I have so many questions I'd love to ask her. She is an incredible athlete and humanitarian. And, an enormously talented and exquisite writer.
It will be a night to remember. If you'd like a signed book from Lynne, look at the photo here and tell me what's wrong with it. Good luck!

You know how I'm always inviting Anne Lamott to lunch with me on this blog? I'm just sayin'-- stranger things have happened!

On the topic of writing and writers, this is a very interesting (euphemism for unnerving) time to be a author or illustrator. The publishing world is experiencing $ignificant $eismic $hifts in the way that they do business, with authors expected to be the active agents in their promotions. It isn't enough to write a book-- in order to succeed, an author must be actively committed to its ongoing promotion. Book posters, postcard mailings, bookstore signings, community appearances, and newspaper articles are becoming dinosaurs. With schools experiencing budget cuts, money to bring in authors is limited. Skype is being used as a means to feature authors and illustrators remotely. I heard an independent bookseller talking about hosting an "author-less event." Huh?

Taking a cue from the independents, Amazon does virtual hand-seling at their site, using computer tracking of your preferences as a means to anticipate your preferences. Will the indies be able to keep up and survive? Barnes and Noble are said to currently represent 60% of the marketplace. Aaach! I heard an editor at SCBWI Nationals say that B&N's influence is so pervasive that they can convince a publisher to put the kabosh on a book cover, in favor of something they think will sell faster. Scary stuff. It behooves us each to continue to shop our independents, and use/support our public libraries. And pray. Really LOUD.

I'm housesitting again for a few days in a lovely remote area of Santa Barbara, and am relishing the quiet time to immerse into my WIP (work in progress). Here's hoping that whatever you're trying to birth in your life will get the time that you need to nurture it to life. Don't put it off. Wrestle it to the ground if you need to. And start small. Just start.

Peace,
Mary

Slap Happy

2009-08-18T05:18:18Z

Laughing Snowy-Owl
Originally uploaded by Hobby-Photograph

I have been on a laughing bender for the past three days with my favorite Comedian-Who-Mistakenly-Believes-She-is-a-CPA friend, and thought I would share this with you. It had us rolling the other night. (As did Sara Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel's video--uh-- tribute to their extra-curricular activities.) But, if you're a sucker for crawlers as I am, this is even better--Laughing Baby!

Said hysterical friend and I saw Monty Python's Spamalot last night in LA, and it was gut-wheezing funny. John O'Hurley, who played Mr. Peterman in Seinfeld starred as King Arthur, and he was phenomenal. There was an extraordinary amount of farting humor, which had the audience nearly falling out of the balcony. Present company included. :-) Absolutely.Completely.Riotous.Stuff.

"The essential ingredient for laughter is not a joke, but another person."
--Robert Provine, Neuroscientist, University of Maryland

This month's edition of Ode Magazine, which I love, is devoted entirely to laughter. Great stuff for writers to mine. If you go to their website, you can sign up for one free copy. Proceed with caution. You may get hooked. :-]

More later-- must unpack my LA duds so I can pack for my next adventure. Looking forward to landing soon.

Peace,
Mary