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06 February 2012 @ 10:16 pm
Getting to the Really Sweet Stuff  

here are very few things that I find more worthy of celebration than love and candy-- and having them both celebrated on the same day is an intoxicating combo. That Valentines Day is not yet a national holiday with mandated closures for businesses causes me great distress, particularly in light of inferior holidays that we fuss over. We clearly under-celebrate Valentines Day, and put such infernal limits on it with the emphasis on romantic love, particularly of the hetero variety.  Couples love is all fine and well, but it is just a tiny sliver in an enormous pie! People, people. Love will not be contained or constrained!

We need a BIG Willy Wonka kind of parade with floats made entirely from candy and sugar, with no one minding if you run alongside attached by your chompers. At the end of the parade might be a gargantuan chocolate fountain with marshmallows the size of soccer balls for dipping and rolling.  "Sugar, Sugar" by the Archies must be the theme song of the parade. Not only is it so completely apropro, but it's the best song ever made according to my inner 12 year old. 

I would trade in Fourth of July, Labor Day, Columbus Day and New Year's Day for one really luscious and resplendant Valentines Day bash every year. Are you in with me?

For V-Day 2012, I am going to follow the wonderful example of Patience Salgado, aka Kindness Girl *(a favorite blogger of mine), who is encouraging people this month to love up their garbage collectors. She has gotten about a 1000 people so far to do this. There are some great photos of this on her blog already. She is challenging us to find out our collector's names, and leave them handmade Valentines, Starbuck's cards, baked goods, whatever moves you.

I have always had a soft spot for my collectors, and her charge has led me to imagine what life would be like without them. For one, I'd have to go to the landfill a lot, because I don't want my trash piling up outside my door. I don't even like it in my enclosed trash can behind the special cabinet I had built for it in my kitchen. I put my banana peels and strawberry stems in Ziploc bags becausse I don't think trash in your house should be allowed to stink. After 20 years of co-habitation, I still have not gotten Jill on board with this. I will not give up! I also would like her to open her tuna cans outside by the dumpster but that's a no-go from her camp so far. 

Anyway, without our collectors, I would be spending all my time driving trash around in my car which would take time away from doing the things I really should be doing like working on my novel, exercising, and cleaning window sill tracks with a toothbrush.  And I really wouldn't like garbage piling up outside my neighbor's door, particularly if they weren't inclined to dispose of it as often as I thought they should. I might even fall victim to Trash Rage, and end up in the slammer for trying to afixiate my neighbors with industrial strength Febreeze.

I can only imagine the irritation I would feel if I felt Jill wasn't doing her fair share of trips to the dump. Clearly, I would have to tie the bags to the back of her bike and convince her there was an awesome climb on the way to the landfill that wasn't to be missed.

Trash collectors are saving my psychological bacon! They are total superheroes. They need to have their own cartoons, comic books and Halloween costumes. Geez, maybe we should trade in Valentine's Day for Trash Collector's Day.

But there's have to be a serious candy tie-in, or I'm not voting for it.  

"All the beautiful sentiments in the world weigh less than a single lovely action." James Russell Lowell.

Now you go get started--

With you in love,
Mary Hershey

*Yes, I know, I am breaking my ban on hyperlinks so you can check her out because she is really a charming soul. 

Current Mood: gratefulgrateful
(Anonymous) on February 8th, 2012 02:57 am (UTC)
Nothing better than coming home from a long day of work and finding a new Hershey post. Yessss. Absolutely agree about the sugar. My girlfriend is off sugar right now, and I am trying to support her by going sans sugar as well. My chewable orange vitamin C's are the highlight of my day. Thank you for another great post.

maryhershey on February 8th, 2012 04:11 am (UTC)
You poor thing! If I make any cookies this week, I'll save the beaters for you, okay?

And you might want to branch out into the Gummy Bear vitamins. Those are awesome good.

:- ) Mary
(Anonymous) on March 2nd, 2012 03:07 am (UTC)
Great Ideas!
I am always amazed by the good and creativity in others, Mary! Someone should've thought of loving up our garbage collectors and creating an all-encompassing love day a long time ago!

I miss you!

maryhershey on March 7th, 2012 12:31 am (UTC)
Re: Great Ideas!
Me, too, Neriza! Goodness wil prevail.

Miss you, too!
bildebok.wordpress.com on April 14th, 2013 05:18 pm (UTC)
Unplug that mixer!
"A good mother always lets you lick the batter from the beaters. A great mother turns the mixer off first"

From a Hallmark card that I sent my mom...
(Anonymous) on August 14th, 2013 06:19 am (UTC)
Garbage Collectors
I just read your story about garbage collectors. Early in my working life, I was one. Spent almost a year manually dumping people's trash into a big, noisy, dirty and stinky truck while waiting for the fire department to hire me. We were very appreciated by many of our customers. I can remember people leaving beer in brown paper bags full of ice, full and sealed bottles of whiskey and other fine beverages, and ever had a customer leave us a $100 bill at Christmas with a note telling us to "share it evenly".

Ahhhh for the days long past. Don't forget the 40th class reunion coming up next month.